The satsang session of today called upon to see the pure soul in every one we meet. The deities we have worshiped today also exist as a pure soul (shudha atma) in every life form that we come across. Practice it today as you go about your daily life, the Gnani directed.
I was determined to put some of it in to practice. I have been eating in the dining hall thali everyday for last few weeks and wantwd to taste Chana Masaala and Tandoori roti. I would take a shared auto from Chand kehdha to Kalupur and eat in one of the popular restaurants there, I decided.
A shared or a shuttle auto is a unique concept of this city. A three wheeler auto which is meant for two people
but can squeeze in three people easily, is shared between up to seven people. Four people sit at the back and two people sit on either side of the auto driver. If the auto driver is lucky and is able to find a seventh rider, the rider gets accommodated somewhere on the auto.
I was the first rider in the auto. The auto driver was eyeing every potential walker by and repeatedly and loudly declaring his destination, Kalpurrr, Kaaaaluprr, kaaaalupoooor. I noticed an unusually tall female, very slim, her body fully covered by her saree draped all around her, hiding any view of what her figure might be like, walked towards the auto. Kalupur, she said and sat in the auto next to me.
As third and fourth passenger sat in the auto back seat, we were all squashed against each other. I was stuck between the tall female and the auto side. I looked at her face in order to get some relief and found her face was very unusual for a woman. I looked at the passenger sitting next to her and saw expressions of disgust and disapproval as he looked at her and then looked at me. Oh! Suddenly it struck me that. The female sitting next to me is a Hijra!!! I attempted to shrink myself so that my left bottom does not touch her.
She must have felt my disgust and disapproval, for she squirmed in her seat. She is a shudha atama, a pure soul like the rest of us, echoed in my mind from the morning lecture of the gnani. Shudha atama, this Hijra!!!
With some deep breathing, I brought myself back into the teachings of the morning satsang lecture. Every living being is a shudha atama, so is she. I had avinaya bhaav (disrespect) in me for a shudha atama, I have expressed disapproval for a form containing pure soul in it. I closed my eyes and did pratikraman to the shudha atama in the Hijra. I sought forgiveness from her shudha atama for having such a prejudiced opinion and asked gnani shudha atama for strength not to ever do it again.
There was an immediate effect on my co-passenger. She stopped squirming and stopped pushing into me. I felt her body relax and I had a second look at her face. She had small pox marks all over her face and seemed a happy companion. She smiled at me and I smiled back and then turned my face away to watch the road.
I hope she is not getting friendly in order to steal my purse, a wave of apprehension flooded in my mind. Quickly, I moved my left hand over my left pocket and found my purse intact. I moved my right hand over my right pocket and could feel the mobile phone is still there. Relaxed, the satsang started flooding back in me. In my atama seat, I felt remorse for having harboured such negative thoughts about her. I checked my pockets once again and then did pratikraman and sought her forgiveness for holding an abhipraya (opinion) of being a thief against her without any evidence or justification.
The moving auto was struggling to climb as we were entering a bridge. There was some commotion ahead of us. A few two wheelers were parked with people gathered around them. As our auto slowly approached the crowd, a middle aged plump woman, holding a cloth over her forehead, dripping with blood, came into the scene. Unconcerned, the auto driver veered around the crowd and continued our journey. While me and other passengers were steering our necks to look back at the “tamasha” (unfolding drama), the hijra took out her phone and called the local emergency number and asked for an ambulance to get there soon.
When she finished her call, I looked at her with an appreciation. “A Punjabi has hit a Marwari.”, she exclaimed to me. “Punjabis drive like crazy.”, she added. I was disgusted by her racism and thought of retaliating. How can a Hijra, who is ridiculed by everyone, exhibit such extreme racism.
“I am a Punjabi.”, I said loudly and assertively to her. “How can you say such things about Punjabis”, I almost demanded an apology out of her.
“I know you are a Punjabi.”, she replied with non-arrogant confidence. This man is a Patel, she pointed to the passenger sitting on her left and the driver of the auto is a Sindhi. I looked with anger at her and said to myself, “how dare you”. Before I could articulate my anger at her, morning satsang raised its head in me. She is a shudha atama. I quickly did a “shoot on sight” pratikraman, sought forgiveness from her for getting angry.
“I am married to a Punjabi, I love my husband.”, saying this she opened her purse and took out a photo of a couple. “This is me and this is my husband. He is from Punjab, a very brave man. He also drives like a crazy.” She continued, “I work as a security guard in the airport. I do body searches. My husband works as a sweeper in the airport, that is how we met each other.”
While she continued to tell me about how they met and her love story, I was getting amazed at her extra-ordinary ability to determine a person’s ethnicity from their face, expressions, walk and talk. I was not listening to her any more. I was watching the shudha atama animating a body and playing its role in the prakriti (nature, universe).
“Stop the auto, I have to get down here.”, she suddenly yelled. As she got off and the auto started moving again, I repeated my pratikraman. It is easy to listen and accept gnani’s agya (directives of a realized soul) but constant living in them is another story.